Itâs one of the most emotionally raw, physically frustrating, and often invisible experiences a woman can face: you want to be close, but your body wonât let you. Not out of choice â but because the second anything comes near your vulva or vaginal entrance, your muscles clamp down. Your heart races....
đ She Froze When I Touched Her â A Vaginismus Partner's Guide to Understanding & Supporting
By Dr. Julia Reeve
Gynaecologist | Psychotherapist | Sexologist
Author of The Vaginismus Book
âShe says she loves me⌠so why does she push me away?â
If you're in a relationship with someone who has vagin...
When the Path to Healing Feels Too Hard: How to Stay on Track When You Want to Give Up
Have you ever had one of those days when youâve been trying your best â eating better, moving more, committing to your healing â and suddenly the scale goes up instead of down?
Or maybe youâve been doing your da...
For women with vaginismus, the idea of a gynaecological examination can feel overwhelming â sometimes even terrifying. Youâre not imagining things, and youâre not alone. Vaginal exams can feel deeply invasive when your body has learned to protect itself through involuntary muscle tightening, fear re...
Letâs talk about something that so many women experience â but almost no one talks about: vaginismus.
And no, itâs not âall in your headâ or just about sex.
Iâm Doctor Julia Reeve â a gynaecologist, psychotherapist, and sexologist â and hereâs how I explain vaginismus:
Itâs not your body bein...
Itâs a real dilemma.
How do you long for closenessâŚ
if every attempt ends in fear or pain?
Itâs like craving chocolate when youâve never tasted it.
You think youâre missing some...
Can You Get Pregnant If You Have Vaginismus â And Still Feel Like a Virgin?
If youâve been struggling with vaginismus and trying to conceive, you may have come across stories online that seem⌠almost unbelievable.
âIâm still technically a virgin, but Iâm pregnant.â
âWe didnât manage full penetra...
How to Go Up in Dilator Sizes Without Fear: A Gentle Step-by-Step Guide for Vaginismus Healing
By Dr. Julia Reeve | Gynaecologist ⢠Psychotherapist ⢠Sexologist
If you're using dilators as part of your vaginismus healing journey, you may be wondering:
âHow do I know when itâs time to go up a si
...
âI Donât Even Think I Want Toâ
She told me:
âI donât even think I want to overcome vaginismus.â
And I believed her.
Because fear can sound like indifference.
She said, âIâm fine without sex. I donât even care any more.â
But her body told a different story.
Tension. Avoidance. A quiet ache she coul...
âI Canât Do Dilatingâ
She said, âI want to overcome vaginismusâŚ
But I canât do that thing with the dilators.
Just thinking about it makes me panic.â
She felt stuck.
Because everyone said âjust use dilatorsâ â like it was easy.
But for her, it wasnât.
Her body said: no way. Shut down. Full fear mode...
When it comes to vaginismus, few voices are as informed and grounded as Krsten Loop, who was recently interviewed by the respected website PainScience.com. As someone deeply familiar with the lived and clinical aspects of this condition, sheâs not easily impressed by vague advice or one-size-fits-al...
Signs, Symptoms, and What You Can Do Today â Without Shame or Fear
If youâre here reading this, chances are youâve felt that something isnât quite right when it comes to intimacy or inserting anything vaginally â a tampon, a finger, or during intercourse. Maybe youâve googled phrases like âwhy does...
If you've never had penetrative sex because it hurts too much â you're not alone. In fact, you may be one of the millions of women silently living with a condition called vaginismus.
It might feel like youâre the only one. Society doesnât talk much about painful first sex. Films show it as awkward,...
As a gynaecologist, psychotherapist, and sexologist, Iâve spent over three decades listening to women whose stories were misunderstood or dismissed â often because their symptoms were invisible, misdiagnosed, or simply too painful to speak aloud. Among these, vaginismus remains one of the most under...
Why Does It Burn When I Try to Have Sex?
Many women feel confused, ashamed, or even broken when intimacy causes physical discomfort. One of the most distressing symptoms I hear about from women with vaginismus is a burning sensation during sex or attempted penetration.
Let me reassure you:
Youâre ...
I Love Her but She Freezes When We're Close: Understanding Vaginismus and How You Can Help
Feeling your partner suddenly freeze or tense up during moments of intimacy can be confusing, disheartening, and even painful emotionally. If your partner struggles with vaginismus, it's important to understa...
How to Help a Partner with Fear of Penetration: An Empathetic Guide
Fear of penetration is a deeply emotional and physical experience closely associated with vaginismusâa condition where involuntary muscle contractions prevent comfortable or pain-free penetration. Understanding how to support a par...
If you've discovered your girlfriend has vaginismus, you might be feeling confused, worried, or even helpless. Let me start by reassuring you: you're not alone, and neither is your partner. Vaginismus is a common yet highly treatable condition, characterized by involuntary tightening of pelvic floor...
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