If you live with vaginismus, you already know that the thought of penetration can feel completely overwhelming. People around you might say, “Just relax,” or “It can’t hurt that much.” But to your brain, penetration doesn’t feel like a small challenge. It feels like stepping into a lion’s den.

Imag...

Discovering that the pain, fear, or difficulty you’ve been experiencing during intimacy, tampon use, or medical exams actually has a name — vaginismus — can bring a huge sense of relief. Suddenly, you realize you’re not alone, you’re not “broken,” and there are concrete steps you can take to move fo...

For many women with vaginismus, the very first step — inserting the smallest dilator — feels like standing at the base of a mountain. It’s not just about a piece of medical-grade silicone or plastic; it’s about facing fear, letting go of tension, and allowing yourself to trust your own body again. I...

“I Feel Like Half a Woman” — Vaginismus and Self-Worth

One of the most painful thoughts many women with vaginismus share with me is: “I feel like I’m only half a woman.”

If you’ve ever had this thought, please know you are not alone. When intimacy feels impossible, when fear or pain block you from...

How to Get Past the First Insertion of a Dilator (or Finger) with Vaginismus

For many women living with vaginismus, the idea of inserting even the smallest dilator, or even a finger, can feel terrifying. You might have bought a set of dilators, unwrapped them, and then thought: I can’t do this. It ...

Why Is Sex Important? Can’t a Relationship Be Just Platonic?

When living with vaginismus, many women ask themselves a difficult question: “Why is sex even important? Why can’t it be normal to have a platonic relationship?”

It’s a brave and honest question. If sex feels painful, frightening, or imp...

It’s one of the most emotionally raw, physically frustrating, and often invisible experiences a woman can face: you want to be close, but your body won’t let you. Not out of choice — but because the second anything comes near your vulva or vaginal entrance, your muscles clamp down. Your heart races....

When the Path to Healing Feels Too Hard: How to Stay on Track When You Want to Give Up

Have you ever had one of those days when you’ve been trying your best — eating better, moving more, committing to your healing — and suddenly the scale goes up instead of down?

Or maybe you’ve been doing your da...

For women with vaginismus, the idea of a gynaecological examination can feel overwhelming — sometimes even terrifying. You’re not imagining things, and you’re not alone. Vaginal exams can feel deeply invasive when your body has learned to protect itself through involuntary muscle tightening, fear re...

Let’s talk about something that so many women experience — but almost no one talks about: vaginismus.

And no, it’s not ‘all in your head’ or just about sex.

I’m Doctor Julia Reeve — a gynaecologist, psychotherapist, and sexologist — and here’s how I explain vaginismus:

It’s not your body bein...

  She asked me, “How can I want to overcome vaginismus… if I’ve never even experienced what I’m supposed to be missing?”

It’s a real dilemma.
How do you long for closeness…
if every attempt ends in fear or pain?
It’s like craving chocolate when you’ve never tasted it.
You think you’re missing some...