When people hear the word vaginismus, they often assume it is always something terrible, something that must urgently be “cured.” But that isn’t true for every woman. Over my 30+ years as a gynaecologist, psychotherapist, and sexologist, I’ve met many women with vaginismus — and each one has had her...
For many women with vaginismus, the very first step — inserting the smallest dilator — feels like standing at the base of a mountain. It’s not just about a piece of medical-grade silicone or plastic; it’s about facing fear, letting go of tension, and allowing yourself to trust your own body again. I...
For many women with vaginismus, the idea of a Pap test can feel overwhelming. The fear isn’t just about the procedure itself, but about losing control, being surprised, or experiencing pain. Over the years I’ve seen countless women who postponed their cervical screening because of this fear — and wh...
“I Feel Like Half a Woman” — Vaginismus and Self-Worth
One of the most painful thoughts many women with vaginismus share with me is: “I feel like I’m only half a woman.”
If you’ve ever had this thought, please know you are not alone. When intimacy feels impossible, when fear or pain block you from...
How to Get Past the First Insertion of a Dilator (or Finger) with Vaginismus
For many women living with vaginismus, the idea of inserting even the smallest dilator, or even a finger, can feel terrifying. You might have bought a set of dilators, unwrapped them, and then thought: I can’t do this. It ...
Why Is Sex Important? Can’t a Relationship Be Just Platonic?
When living with vaginismus, many women ask themselves a difficult question: “Why is sex even important? Why can’t it be normal to have a platonic relationship?”
It’s a brave and honest question. If sex feels painful, frightening, or imp...
It’s one of the most emotionally raw, physically frustrating, and often invisible experiences a woman can face: you want to be close, but your body won’t let you. Not out of choice — but because the second anything comes near your vulva or vaginal entrance, your muscles clamp down. Your heart races....
💔 She Froze When I Touched Her – A Vaginismus Partner's Guide to Understanding & Supporting
By Dr. Julia Reeve
Gynaecologist | Psychotherapist | Sexologist
Author of The Vaginismus Book
“She says she loves me… so why does she push me away?”
If you're in a relationship with someone who has vagin...
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