Vaginismus in a Nutshell
Jul 31, 2025Let’s talk about something that so many women experience — but almost no one talks about: vaginismus.
And no, it’s not ‘all in your head’ or just about sex.
I’m Doctor Julia Reeve — a gynaecologist, psychotherapist, and sexologist — and here’s how I explain vaginismus:
It’s not your body being broken.
It’s your body protecting you.
Vaginismus is an involuntary reaction — a kind of ‘lockdown’ your pelvic floor goes into — because your nervous system has learned that penetration equals danger. As soon as anything comes near the vaginal opening, your brain is triggered and sets off the fear response cycle. Fight, flight, freeze...
A survival reflex. But the brain has got it wrong.
It's not your fault. You weren't born with this fear.
And the good news is:
Like all responses your body has learnt, this one can be unlearned.
With the right support, safety, and small steps…
You can find your way out. It's like your brain runs this program automatically and we have to rewrite the program...
You’re not alone.
And you are not broken. And you CAN fix it.
Understanding vaginismus is an important first step — but lasting change usually requires a clear, structured approach.
If you recognise yourself in what you’ve just read and would prefer not to navigate this alone, you can explore The Vaginismus Zone — a private, step-by-step recovery programme created by Dr. Julia Reeve.
You can move at your own pace, with lifetime access, and without pressure.