At the beginning of our relationship, I had to undergo an operation to remove adhesions on the hymen. I didn't talk to my friends about this, nor did I talk to my partner in great detail, as it was a taboo subject for me. We shouldn't have sex immediately after the operation. In retrospect, we waited far too long with the first attempt. Like the "first time", my vagina had narrowed again at this point. Each subsequent attempt became more and more depressing, so that we didn't try at all for a long time and pushed the topic of sex off the table. I didn't speak to anyone about this topic during this time either, because I was too embarrassed to admit that I was still a virgin in my mid-30s. But then the time came when the desire for children became enormous. Then, through an advertisement in the newspaper, I learned that Dr. Reeve also performs sex therapies. One day I took heart and made an appointment. This was fraught with shame and fear, as it was the first time I was about to speak to someone about this topic. The first conversation went surprisingly well. Miss Dr. Reeve told me that there are a lot of couples who have the same problems as we do. I then gave up my shame very quickly. She also told me that I had vaginismus and that it was easy to treat. She advised us to have sex therapy. This therapy consisted of two components. First there was a conversation between me and Dr. Reeve. My husband also took part in the next meeting. In these conversations the subject of sex was removed from the taboo and encouraged us to deal more openly with the subject in our relationship.
The second component was that I should widen my vagina with a pad set. This set consists of several tubes of different sizes. I should first introduce the smallest size of the pad set every day and increase later. Within a month I was able to insert the penultimate size without pain. I was highly motivated by the quick successes. A month later we went on vacation, where we dared to have "real" sex for the first time. Because of the relaxed situation and my new self-confidence, it worked out. We were overjoyed to have a normal relationship now. After that everything went very quickly. Two months after our vacation, I got pregnant, which a few months ago we hardly dared to dream. I can only encourage all couples to make an appointment with Dr. Reeve and don't wait too long. If I had overcome my shame faster, we would have saved ourselves a lot of problems and we would have become a "normal" couple faster.